or maybe i’m just not meant to be rescued.




that’s not the only reason i find it so hard to get out of bed in the morning, though. most people enjoy the comfort and warmth of their pillow, or don’t want to deal with school or their job—but that’s not entirely it for me. it’s definitely not work i dread: it’s everything else. life… people… doorknobs with too much static.

even if i’m not a hopeless dreamer, there’s definitely one thing i am: hopeless.

my name is Margo May Kane, and this is the unfortunate tale of my life.

my mom always tries to tell me i’m pretty, but i’m really not sure how she sees that. my pores aren’t quite clean enough, my teeth not quite straight enough, my nose not quite small enough, and my hair not quite cooperative enough. it’s not for lack of trying, but like most everything else in my life, my looks are something i’ve never quite got… right.

after a while, i just stopped trying—no one ever really looks at me, anyways.

i’d rather they didn’t, too.


unfortunately, i don’t seem to go through life as unnoticed as i’d like to be. freak of nature, certified coward, proud owner of two left feet, social retard—a few more labels i’ve picked up over the years.

i really wish they’d just make a list of them to staple to my back, so no one makes the mistake of talking to me.

i really wish i understood why i turned out this way.




my parents try to rationalize it, saying that my rough childhood just made everything in life a bit more difficult for me to handle. i’m not sure if that’s it, though—i think they’re just trying to come up with an excuse that leaves them partly to blame, so i don’t feel like this is all entirely my fault.

it’s a little too late for that, though. besides, i’m fairly confident i was just born this way. a couple of years of bullying aren’t what make me accidentally tie my own shoelaces together. my oddness goes a bit deeper than that.




unfortunately, while many ‘losers’ like me find that their weaknesses in some areas just bring them strengths in others, i’m not quite that lucky. i don’t really have any talents—besides setting a record length need for braces, at least—and i’m not particularly smart, either.

in fact, there’s really only one thing i like to do (read) and i even have trouble with that. a girl who loves stories, but can’t read or write a page of anything without at least an hour of constant scrutiny? dyslexia is one of many curses i have, but it sure feels like the worst.




still, i guess you don’t have to be good at something to enjoy it. so, i read. i write. every word takes me away to a better world. it’s just pathetic that the thing i love most in the world is also the thing that brings me the most humiliation. most of my classmates still think i’m “slow” because it took me until the 4th grade to be able to read all the way through Raymundo.

and who knows: maybe i am. i sure feel like it, sometimes. my dad’s a renown scientist and my best friend is a genius… and here i am, relying on spell check just to be legible. i’m a B-student, at best. always one step away from being able to achieve anything worth being proud of.




but, that’s why i’ve decided to start writing this. my friend Veronica is teaching me photography, and my friend Kenzie has been helping me with my writing—and they both convinced me to do something to combine the two. so, as crazy as it sounds: i’ve decided to journal my life…

… and put it on the internet. that particular idea was mine, and probably the bravest thing i’ve ever done in my life. i’m putting myself out there for the world to see, which is rather terrifying for someone who becomes a basket case every time the teacher even looks like she might call on me.

who knows. maybe writing will end up being the one way i’m actually able to express myself the way that i want to. and here, one place i’m actually taken seriously.




i guess i just need to take things one step at a time, though. i’m definitely not going to be a photographer for Simsational Geographic, a novelist, or a social butterfly by tomorrow. but at least i can try to make those dreams seem possible.

til then… i still have to figure out what i’m going to do about this school club dilemma. Kenzie’s really gung-ho about joining the school newspaper, but V’s set on joining the chess team—and unfortunately, i only have time to join one of them.

i’m leaning a bit more towards the newspaper since i suck pretty bad at chess, but Daisy de Wynter’s already signed up for it and she enjoys making my life absolutely miserable. and, as luck would have it, the cutest boy in school is already on the roster for the chess team.

… what do i do? do i join a club i have real interest in but suffer through being around my living nightmare, or join a club that has absolutely no appeal to me outside of getting to spend a few extra hours a week fawning over Josh Seymour?